Friday 23 August 2013

“You’re too pretty to be so fat!”

I decided to give Acupuncture a go for weight loss as I have decided that I need to be healthier. I have absolutely no intention of loosing masses of weight. I never want to get below a dress UK size 16.  I love the idea of alternative therapies so I thought I would give it a go. I felt in the end I had paid £35 to be verbally abused. This man could not understand that I was losing weight to be healthier, he would agree and then add on the end, “but you will look better!”

 So at the point you are meant to be laying there with all the pins in you, being serene and one with your thoughts in a meditative state of mine. His parting words when he left me, “Lay here for 30 minutes and relax...... You are a beautiful girl...... You’re too pretty to be so fat! See you in 30 minutes” How am I now meant to relax?

I have survived many other hurtful comments made to me regarding my weight and appearance but this comment felt like the knife had been twisted. I have been reeling from this comment for nearly two weeks now and I am so annoyed that this comment has affected me so much. I struggle to think of a word that describes this back handed complement, rude? Just does not cut the mustard in this case. Spiteful? Sadly I know from the way he said it, that this was not his intention.

If there was no health implication to me being overweight then I can say hand on heart, I wouldn’t lose a pound! Despite what others clearly think of my appearance, I don’t look at myself in the mirror in disgust or horror, I think I look OK. Many years I have dealt with other people telling me how I should look. I just cannot hack random people whom it is none of their business to tell me their negative opinion. I would NEVER go up to some random in the street and tell them that they are ugly, they have a big nose, big ears or that they are too thin! To be completely honest, my brain just doesn’t work like that. When I am walking around I am either in my own world singing in my head to whatever I am listening to on my iPod or I am looking around at what people are wearing and thinking, “I like that bag! I like those shoes! I would wear that if it was in a different colour!”

I don’t think I will ever get my head around this comment. When I tell people this incident as with any story I tell, I make it funny and in hindsight I do see the amusing side. Saying this, this has changed things for me now, just need to make this into a positive. I will just let this incident heal, scab over, but I think a little scar will remain.

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